Saturday, August 11, 2012

Happiness all around

Well I guess it's better to have one HUGE blog post than not hearing from me in months. LOL. I broke this one up in categories so whichever you prefer to read or not you can easily skip through the stuff that doesn't interest you. 

Weight loss:
Just for you guys I've decided to step on the scale this morning and before I tell you the number I'm going to say I'm not surprised. Last weekend I had a 4 day weekend it was awesome but I was so bored I didn't know what to do with myself other than be lazy and eat out..I had Macdonalds at least three times, subway, Taquito's from 7/11 and ice coffee and lots of pop. wtf right?! I was also very lazy lazy oh TOM was also there he was't too pleasant with me this month either.

So this morning after not stepping on a scale for a while I decided to step on it because I looked so friggen thin in the mirror and the verdict was...157! I'm not mad, I'm not even slightly disappointed because the fact is this month I've done next to nothing and my diet has been shit. This month I've been able to maintain under 160 and I'm 157 today so I'm happy at my maintain accomplishment! yay me! But I know that just because I am maintaining and eatting shit it will eventually turn around and blow up like a Balloon. When I got back to work Tuesday I've been eating a lot less trying to control my hunger and tell my body I don't need THAT much food, just enough to be satisfied with no hunger pains.

I had a three day weekend but decided to take a 4 day weekend because TOM started Thursday and as usual my cramps we're a bitch so I took Friday off. Given the fact Monday was a holiday I had an enjoyable last two weeks of work, both were only 4 days. To my shock my Boss wrote a final goodbye email which was nice to the company to let them know I was leaving. Trust me I was VERY shocked and very awed about it. I wasn't expecting it. As usually I thought I was just going to get a nice knowing you quick kick out the door. Because two years ago when I was running away and quit to move back home, I got nothing not even really a goodbye. Of course 4 months later I call back to see if they we're hiring and wanted to take me back. They did, so a total of 4 years (minus the 6 month hiatus) I worked with the company.

I had my exit interview which I think went well of course my boss was nervous. The last girl who went out bashed everyone she could which of course resulted in the vice president and the president of the company to get involved to and gave people a lot of shit. Of course she was just a punk kid with no purpose who felt the need to burn her bridges. It happens. Also given my colourful out right personality people expected me to have done the same thing when the reality is. I speak my mind and when I have a problem you know it, but I'm not going to go into an exit interview to shit on everyone. The people who truly know me, know I have class and I'm not the horrific bitch that my enemies and frienemies portray me to be. The move they did was the best move for me in the long run. They took me out of my comfort zone so I would get my ass out there and take a chance. So can I really be mad? Yes. but am I mad? Nope. I was over it after a week but I had already had my interview and even after a month I still didn't like it much in the other building.

Everyone signed a card for me wishing me the best. So many people told me they we're going to miss me and we had Cake. My bossed thanked me for not going in with knives to stab everyone in the back. I said I wouldn't because I could have been fired a long time ago with the way I reacted or even some of the shit I pulled. It works both ways, I wan't the perfect employee and I'm a mouth piece. I know that. Just like they aren't the perfect bosses.

I got an email around 9pm Friday night telling me where the course next week is going to take place. There's something in the email stating I need my passport photo and my original police check which I don't have. I was told to only worry about the second page because I already had my license. Sooo Now I'm like WTF?! I will email the guy later and ask him see what he say's.

I'm really excited for this change, I left my job on wicked terms next week I have my course. It just amazes me two years ago I was 180 pounds, unhappy, heart broken, lost and in so much debt. I felt stuck but made the move to come back out to Alberta anyways to start fresh. It's been a bumpy road with two, sometimes three jobs but I have all my creditor's (except one) paid off, and I'm well on my way to having a fresh start. I'm 23 pounds down, my confidence level is up high, I feel like I've found myself again. I'm happy and I no longer feel I'm stuck. I've come a really long way to where I was a couple of years back. I feel like a whole new person and it's great! Wish me luck!


Has anyone ever been in a situation where you we're hanging out with someone (I call it hanging out unless the guy has at least brought me out on one date.) but you weren't sure if you liked him or not? I'll call him Motorhead and I met off a dating website. (the last retard left that I had been talking to before deleting my account.) He's nice but sort of wishy washy. Thursday of last week he came over and was late of course but I'm willing to accept that Flaw I guess for the time beinging since he has had some shit going on...But I called in sick and then kicked him out around 11:30 he didn't understand why since I wasn't working the next day. But really hanging out in my place is boring. I get bored, we we're drinking we weren't doing anything but chit chatting and watching tv. I didn't even want to watch a movie. (TOM had just started so I tend to be pretty F'in moody).

I finally had a 4 day weekend he wanted to hang out Saturday night like later on and when he asked me this, it was 8 O'clock at night. I said no, we can hang out tomorrow (as in the Sunday) in early evening because of course he told me if he didn't get to work on his truck it makes him sad. I was annoyed and asked him what his deal was with evenings, why can't we hang out during the day? Of course his answer was he works all week, evenings are for relaxing and on weekends he likes to work on his truck. I told him he apparently wakes up at 6am every day so work on your truck early morning and hang out in the afternoon? Nope that didn't work for him. Just because he likes to relax in the evenings, I don't like to relax with someone. I relax all the time whenever I have time to and I can entertain myself more by myself and do my own thing.

So Sunday came around and I texted him after walking Chloe cause my friend and I went for a 4 hour drive in total to go see the dogs she wants. He said two words to me but nothing about hanging out. So I went off doing my own thing Sunday evening and didn't even ask him about it. On Monday morning I got an apology about not hanging out sunday and I ignored it. Simply because all he had to say on Sunday evening was I prefer to work on my truck and help my friend out than hang out with you right now.

We we're suppose to chill yesterday and I cancelled because well again he wanted to hang out at my house. Because he's oh so broke to take me anywhere, yet he can make trips out of town, go out for a beer and a bite with friends...but with me it's lets just hang? haha So I told him I didn't feel like hanging out tonight but tomorrow after I'm done work would be good. I also no longer want to hang out in my house I want to go out and do something. He said something free. I said fine. We've decided drinks at a park by the river which is cool I guess. I don't like to drink when I have to drive so it'll be water for me plus I don't feel like going out and buying booze. To be honest I don't know what he's thinking but he apparently really likes me. I'm indifferent to the situation. But I'll keep you guys posted.


So my friend and I have possibly decided to become roomates in December. Problem is she's only thinking about herself and my new job is possibly way down south of the city so of course I want to move closer. Given a lot of shit that's happened and her admitting to sabotaging me has made me become vary weary of her. It's like when things go good in her life she'll support me but as soon as things are's sabotage. We've barely hung out the last two months than all of a sudden boyfriend issues come along (shocker...) she comes clinging back and than once he's okay with her again she pisses off. I dislike people like that to a degree because I'm not here to be your good friend while you fuck me over.

I'm allergic to her cat and she honestly told me she didn't think me wanting to sign ONLY a 6 month lease just in case I wanted to move to BC next summer was a good reason to not sign a year. wtf? If I only want to sign 3 months for whatever reason is a good reason. So she started making other demands which I shut her down with quickly. To be honest this friendship isn't solid enough to move in together, and it's going to end because I don't want to move in with her. Or it's going to go south pretty quickly once we move in together. I have huge doubts about this, only because I've lived alone for so long and the first and last time I had a roomate who was a friend...well we're not longer friends because she screwed me over. Do I think this friend will screw me over? In a heart beat so I think once I start my new job and see the distance in driving I will get a good feel as to where I want to move. I will then tell her this is the area where I'm moving no questions about it, so if you want to be roomates still cool. If not oh well.

She doesn't want to move far from her hot yoga studio because she feels the farther she is the lack of motivation she'll have to go. No offense she doesn't go now and since she restarted her weight loss in Feb she's lost nothing, and EVERYTIME she's with me she want's junks it's like a sabotage because I do good. She definitely doesn't support me and my journey but expects me to care about her. It doesn't make sense to me. Anyways I guess it's pretty clear which root I'm going to head into the next few weeks but do you guys have any opinions on how to break it to her? I'm in a lose-lose situation either way so feel free to leave your opinions. :P

Thanks for reading, everyone have a wonderful weekend.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

It's been a while :)

Things have been going really well for me you'll be updated by my weight loss, job process and boys all in this order. LOL

First thing is I've stayed away from the scale, week in and week out it's been the same damn number 156-159 so I decided to stay away from it for a while and go by with what I feel and see in the mirror. I believe that's a more healthier approach for me because the scale just depresses me. It's fine though when I'm ready to get fully back into I will. For now I'll just watch what I eat and continue to eat smaller portions. Now that being said I'm working my way up mentally to do a 10 day master cleanser (completely fail as I eat a MacDonald breakfast LOL) but I figured with everything goings well for me lately I may as well completely cleanse my body of all the toxins. Of course so when I start my new job everything will feel brand new? I'm trying to mentally prepare myself...

So I gave my two weeks notice at my full time job on Friday. My course started Aug 13-17th and I know a lot of people are asking "well what if you fail?" well now I CAN'T fail because I have nothing to fall back on and I doubt I would fail. I know the people asking that really don't want me to leave my current position because I'm well liked but you know what in the long run it'll benefit me the best. The hospital security was always my back up plan if the 911 - dispatching didn't pan out. The only difference is instead of waiting to get on with Protection services right away (I've applied 18 times and nothing.) I decided to get into contract security for the hospital, start at the bottom and work my way up. (Turns out the reason why I wasn't getting hired was because the contracted security who was working we're getting the protection services jobs.) I've also never really feared starting from the bottom and busting my ass up to get to the top again. The pay cut isn't drastic and within 3 months I'll be pretty much making the same amount of money I am at my current job. I also have my debt under control with the exception of one creditor. So I don't feel stuck anymore, I have my savings account going up quickly and I'm being smarter money wise. I also got a dollar raise at my part time job which I won't be working at as much once I get my rotation shift of 4 on and 4 off. two days and two nights which is what I would have been doing if I got on with the City. Besides it'll be a nice change not ALWAYS having to work day shift (I hope). I'm really excited!

So someone sent a comment last week when I updated about a boy but gave very little details...Well I'll just start from the beginning because something crazy happened yesterday which NEVER happens to me EVER.

So I met this guy of a dating website and invited him out to dog walk Chloe with me. After we met we didn't talk as much just random text's here and there then all of a sudden last week he's like "hey cutie whats up!?" So we hung out on a Friday night he was sweet and wasn't one of those typical idiots grabbing at me trying to make out with me. But the thing about him is his car stuff comes first. We we're suppose to hang out Tuesday and he told me that he'd get back to me 4:30-5:00ish to let me know if he was able to come for 6 or if he was going to check out this car. 5:30 hits and I decide to create boundaries it's rude to make someone wait and if you still don't know whats going on you text them and let them know. So I made other "plans". 5:45 he texts me and asks whats up? I told him since he didn't get back to me when he said he would, I figured he went to see the car and I made plans.

He asked to hang out later that night I said no I'm busy. He asked about Wednesday I said I was busy but Thursday would be great. So Thursday comes and he was suppose to come by around 7 and we were going to hang out at my place. He hasn't taken me on a date it's just been lets hang out at my place. 7 hits and he tells me he hasn't showered yet and his roomate told him he needed to be out of the house by the end of the month. So he has 5 days to find a place. He ask's if he can come over later. I flat out said no, I get cranky and like my sleep. So for 45 minutes he tried guilt tripping me and then he said how about I come for 8:30? and I said that's fine as long as you don't mind I'll kick you out 10-10:30 the latest.

He told me there's a thing called "live a little". I laughed and shook my head simply because one if we we're actually going out and doing things I'd gladly stay out late, but to have someone just come over and hang out I get tired quickly and we're not at that stage yet. So I made plans with him for this Sunday since Saturday he wasn't willing to change his plans to go out to Edmonton. Which I find a little funny because he can take a road trip out which of course cost money...but to offer to take me out anywhere he's broke? *Shrugs* he wanted to hang out Friday but I said I was busy cause I was (I had a date, which you all will hear about this after this guy.) ...I think that's slightly ticking him off because I'm not available ever second he wants me to be?

So I had a date last night decided to give my friends, friend a shot who is younger. We made plans for around 5ish. 5ish to me mean 4:45-5:15 between that time. Turns out my friends defini of 5ish is between 5-6? That's a pretty vague and anything after the 30 is considered the next timeish. IMO. So I gave him that when he showed up at 5:40 because if my friend things it's between 5-6 then obviously his friend thinks that. So we go on our date sit down at the resturant and he says he has to make a phone call to his buddy to find out if he's working tomorrow. So he picks up the phone and starts talking for about 5 minutes. Deal breaker right there so it was pretty hard for me to act remotely interested after that. After dinner we say Savages which I really liked. He was nice but he was a kid he has a lot of growing up to do and making phone calls on a first date is kind of a no no.

Friday after work I was chatting up everyone because of course I'm SUPER excited I'm quitting to move on to bigger better things in my life. I stopped by the other security team side and this cute contractor who I've seen around but never had much of a conversation with was standing there. As I walked up I was like "Oh it's only you...okay" and he made a joke, then we joked around and he's like "aww does someone need a hug" and I'm like "ya" so he gives me a quick one arm hug. and I'm going on about myself (cause clearly I'm good at that lmfao) and about how I've quit I'm getting into hospital security etc.. He told me his mother works in childrens hospital and her friend is protection services so if I ever wanted to work with children I may have an in source to get me in. Well as the conversation continued on he asked me if I was single, I said yes then asked for my phone number. We then text and decided to make a date for tonight! I thought I'd work until 5 but I get off earlier. I'll contact him in a bit if he hasn't gotten a hold of me by the time I'm done here.

Well Bloggers thats all for my update! Happy weekend!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Quick update

So I've adjusted to my new building and it's okay. I emailed the guy about the job unfortunately he's on vacation until next week. So hopefully he'll have my answer as to when the next available course is so I can plan accordingly. The scale hasn't budged but my work pants did not want to stay on yesterday. I finally broke down and had to punch another hole in my belt.

I met a boy (guy whatever)...Not sure what else to say, just saying.

I started back into my writing and my hobbies that  I haven't really been around much not even for my email buddies. Sorry about that guys.

Remember weigh in tomorrow BL guys, I think tomorrow will be the last elimination and next week we'll have a winner. Good luck.

That's all. Everyone have a wonderful weekend.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

and it's almost Friday

Dear Red Team, 

I do apologies I am going to be a huge disappointment this week for weigh in as well...

I guess I'm just not mentally ready to drop these dreadful last 18 pounds, or else I would have by now! I'm not really sure what to do to motivate myself. 

The interview went well, it wasn't even an interview. I went in filled out the paper work and answered the questions, there was a part on the "test" where I had to write a report which was totally lame and I barely even worked at it. I wrote some stupid stuff, didn't even finish the report like I would really on a job so I laughed at myself and figured they wouldn't have hired me after that. (but it went on...)

I then met the guy who I was suppose to meet, we discuss what I had been doing and my experience. After 5 minutes he said he wanted me in for a second interview with the big guy who say's Yes or No to hiring. Within two minute another guy came down (I just want to say, holy hell I've never walked into a security company that was surrounded by all good looking people. Even Guards and people coming in for meetings were good looking! haha).

The guy asked me if I worked for G4 before because well, my boss who worked there before praised me and how good I was so this guy who used to work for G4 as well (in the office part) knew who I was he just didn't have a face to match the name until that moment. (I also think that when I lived in Ontario the Vice President of the company was the one who called my Boss, and told him I was coming out to Alberta to work and that they should take me on and find a placement for me. I'm pretty sure that's why I get a really high appreciating when it comes from his mouth.) This is why and I realize now, you never burn your bridges and in the end GOOD things DO happen to go people. I have to do a course for a week which they pay you to go to as long as you pass it. Funny thing is people are asking me "well what happens if you give your two weeks and fail?" Well if I fail that'll be my own stupidity as well then I guess I'd be screwed but I'm really not worried. 

The recruiter because he knows my Boss now, and of course with someone with my experience they want me on he's willing to work around my schedule. I told  him I wanted to give my company two weeks proper notice. So next week he's going to email me with other training dates which then I'll be able to choose from. I haven't hidden the fact that I've looked and I'm not one of those people who's going to fear saying I'm looking. It truly shouldn't be a shocker given the fact I've stressed how miserable I am about the change they made WITHOUT the explanation. (when that's all they needed to give me and the other girl and I'm sure we would have then been fine about the switch.) I'm also sure my boss will find out because well The guy who interviewed me knows him from working and contracting out the other security company.

So that's my story good things do happen to good people...eventually :)

Monday, July 9, 2012

Won't be around as much..

Alright for those wanting to see who the winners are, go to my BL blog.

Last week I was fully warned that I was going to switch over buildings. They did their best to get our IT guy to get me the internet up and running unfortunately some idiot contractors who didn't know what they were doing drilled a hole in the concrete and right through some wires causing the whole Security Desk to shut down as well as the escalators. I don't know when that will be up and running and Yes, I am pissed to begin with about the move. Sure it's because I'm good at my job, sure it's because it's best if I'm there but the reality is I DIDN'T WANT TO BE THERE! I had no choice in the say, and really if they had of just said the truth of WHY I was being switched to a building on my own, and have more work to do. Then just maybe I wouldn't so pissed about it but I am.

I'm now that buildings friggen lap dog mean while I'm still getting the same crappy pay. I get it I can handle a stressful situation, I'm GOOD at my job, I have amazing customer service and lets face it the people in my building LOVE me and my boss knows it. The girl who is now in my spot, is rude, can't tolerate stress and doesn't have good customer service. But you know what?! THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM! I didn't hire her, now I'm being down graded to a smaller desk, with companies I don't even like to begin with and not even a computer to use and I'm running around.. They through me in there today expecting me to know it all, mean while SHE had someone sit there with her for 3 hours to train her on my job which is nothing. So am I pissed? YES! am I done being pushed around?! YES. First they take away mine and her parking, now this? What next? Gonna put me on evenings now because you want to give someone else a shot on days? Nope...

So I applied to a contracted security to work in the hospital. I have an interview Wednesday and I'm a 110% sure I will get this job. Now I'm taking less pay, doing two days, and two nights and 4 days off. I hate 12 hour shifts, but I wanted into the hospital and the fact I've applied 18 times to become a protection officer and not once got a call back, it's time to take a small step back just so I can move forward. I'm not going to move forward with my company and since they were so willing to take me out of my comfort zone, I'm willing to step out completely and go for something else. Who knows I may meet a hottie mchottie there. LOL.

The job starts July 23rd if I get it. I think it's definitely time for a change! I got rid of ALL the toxic boys in my life hell I got rid of ALL of them and now its time to move on to bigger and better things! Especially since the hospital down south is opening up, more jobs will open up. I may not be around a lot since I don't have the computer at work (well job one) I'm at job 2 right now writing this since it's dead. I'm not one for writing at home. But BL's please have your weigh in's from now one before 5pm so I can write the blog sunday night at home for you guys!!!

Also I started dog walking for this guy! I made an extra 40 dollars to put towards savings this weekend! He hasn't responded to my text so who knows maybe he doesn't want me walking her any more. Her name is Chloe she is part German Shepard and Husky mix, she is a handful and this guy DEFINITELY didn't do his research at all, I gave him tips on what to do and what he needs and he bought all of it the next day for me...but still. I texted him today and he usually responds but hasn't this time? Who knows! She's a cutie tho!

Thats all for now!

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Weigh in!

Don't forget to weigh in.

Also my Blog will be late tomorrow, since I was switched from my building of work, to another where the internet isn't there. I will post the winner and who get's their spot back ASAP.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

1 more sleep!

One more sleep until the (apparently) most exciting world event happens. The Calgary Stampede where in a week’s time pregnancy tests will be the most purchased product on the shelves and a request for AIDS testing will sky rocket. Never fail’s it the week for people from all around the world to come and be drunk careless and stupid for 24 hours for the 11 day event. So ladies and gentleman break out the cowboy boots and hats to be a wannabe cowboy/girl for a week and when it’s all said and done, throw the stuff back in the closet to collect dust until next year.
Tomorrow is going to be a busy day because it’s the Parade and people will be here bright and early (6ish) like I am (because I work) settling down and trying to get the best seat in the house to watch…right at the end of the curb on the sidewalk.
My workout was FABULOUS yesterday; I discovered my cure for when I have to run on the treadmill, do it in front of a mirror so I can admire my beautiful self while I’m running and dripping sweat. I’d say I’m kidding but I’m really not, staring at myself gives me the motivation to continue while I listen to certain songs and my gym mirror makes me look good. I should find out which mirror that is and get it for my place haha. My shoulders and arms hurt but not as bad as they did last night.
So I just got bad news, I got shafted to the other building that our company owns because the girl over there is incompetent so now I get to suffer. I don’t get a raise, and I’ll be taking on more responsibility I don’t get anything…Maybe they’re planning on firing me and that’s why they’re doing what they’re doing. Seem to be the year where they want to make the two 6am staff girls unhappy… Parking taken away and now this, of course my boss doesn’t see it as a bad thing, but why would he.
I work job number 2 today. I’m going to try and get in an 8 minute run on the treadmill after work (since we have one there. I wondering if I’m allowed to us it?) I was at 7 minutes yesterday so every day I’m going to keep going up one minute..I need to create a circuit training for my Tuesdays and Thursdays and I’ll do weights Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Maybe I’ll do circuit trainings outside at a park on those days…To switch things up. Anyone have any ideas for Circuit training ideas?!
Well it might be a while before I blog again since I’m going to the other side next week. They don’t have the internet and I’m not one for being on the computer while I’m at home..but I’ll keep you guys posted as much as I can, especially Sundays…Weigh in days.
Remember girls who have been eliminated…This week is the week to get your spot back! Lets get those pounds off! Rest of the BL member’s you are to still weigh in Sunday because I want to see that the Red Team defeats the Blue Team yet again, lets go girls! Also no Eliminations are being does this week. But that doesn’t mean you don’t step up your game, it could still save you if you hit a tie on an elimination day!
Alright to all you blogger’s out there! Have a happy Thursday!

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

So true...

I went to the gym yesterday for 30 minutes! I meant to go longer to get some weight training in, but I decided after my warm up of 6 minutes of jogging and 5 minutes of walk I was going to do push up’s…36 of them I did. Not in row, 3 sets of 12…with a few seconds break in between. 24 boy pushups and the last 12 girl pushups…My arms were jello. I couldn’t lift another thing after that…so did a minute and thirty seconds of jump rope and 10 minutes on the elliptical. My arms were still shaky 2 hours later..My shoulders hurt today…(note to self:  do pushups last!)
7 minute jog (everyday I’m going to up it by a minute)
5 minute walk
Dumb bell bench press 3 sets of 12reps (8 pounds) 1 minute rest between.
Triceps pushdown 3 sets of 12 reps (don’t know the weigh yet) 1 minute rest between
2 minutes of jump rope
Standing dumbbell triceps extension 3 sets of 12 reps (not sure which weight to us yet) 1 minute rest
Standing dumbbell shoulder press 3 sets of 12 (8 pounds) 1 minute rest between
7 minute jog
5 minute cool down walk.

Every day I’m writing a small accomplishment I’ve done to appreciate the small things in life. I feel so many people will say things to try and bring you down and generally I’m a happy person and people hate that. So they will judge me and say stuff to try and hurt me.

Example of rudeness from someone yesterday;  I was making a day pass for someone speaking with security from the other company on the phone. He was telling me how theirs this exam you can do after being in security for 5 years. I was telling him how I’ve done security for 5 years and this guy who I was making a card for says to me. “I know this isn’t any of my business but why would you waste your life doing this job for 5 years? Are you planning on going back to school and if so when? Because you’re young this job is for people fresh off the boat or old…and I hope you know you have wasted 5 years of your life…”

I couldn’t believe it, what if I ACTUALLY like my job?! I don’t understand how someone who knows nothing about me what I’m doing with my life outside of this place can honestly make a judgmental comment and shake his head at my life and do what he can to make me feel like shit about it? I’d like to kick him in the balls. No one within his security department appreciated that comment either. (I’m very close with that security team) I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a rough day today with his access and getting anywhere. ;). I guess because as a security we’re all uneducated and a waste of space…Just remember when you need something it takes quite some time for us to have to get to you…because we’re all dumb and incompetent. (Apparently). Yet some over paid asshole can’t even remember to bring someone as small as his access card in…two days in a row.

I know I shouldn’t let it bother, and it truly only does because I do in fact have a problem with what I’m doing right now and I don’t believe I wasted 5 years of my life because I LOVED working in the hospital and at the Toronto Zoo doing security because one the experience and two I got to pet a Cheetah!!! But that doesn’t mean someone should put me down and make me feel like shit because of my certain life choices…

Alright that’s all for today, happy Hump Day! <3

Tuesday, July 3, 2012


You want to know the beautiful thing that happened to me? So remember I went to Mr. Lube for an over charged Oil Change? (maybe I didn’t blog about it...)Well during that oil change they opened up my glove compartment and took out my Cabin air filter (which I honestly didn’t even know existed! Until they did it) then asked me if I wanted them to change it for me? I asked them how much (add on another $70.00 to that $87.00) Oil change…I was like hell no. So they put it back…(they also wanted to over charge me on windshield wipers which I bought myself and put on myself)
I went to auto source on Saturday picked up the Cabin Air filter myself for $20.00 and it took me less than 3 minutes to put it in myself. I’m chatting with a guy who is the manager for Mr. Lube through text and I was telling him how his company is a rip off. He claims that these people actually care about your vehicle etc..and the dealership over prices. (I don’t think so… we’ll maybe the dealership over prices things but so does Mr. Lube. But that’s not the point!)
I told him about the Cabin air filter situation and said I couldn’t believe they would honestly charge that much! He was JUST having a conversation with another lady who was complaining about the exact same thing. He said they charge for the labour…50.00 bucks for a labour job of less than three minutes?!?!!? He then went all mathematical on me (between dealership and Mr. Lube prices) and then goes “who’s cheaper now?” I said I was because their company is stupid for showing me where my Cabin Air Filter was in the first place and taking it out in front of me…so Yes I got an overpriced oil change with a nice little learning lesson. ;) So Mr. Lube Manager & stores…you can SUCK IT! (lol…I’m pretty sure he got pissed/offended because I was bashing his work place…I wasn’t bashing him just the ethic’s of their stores and them being a complete rip off.)
So in Jan I went to Walmart because I needed two new tires because I got a flat and they were the cheapest. I asked for my correct size and I didn’t notice until now those incompetent idiots gave me the wrong size! My tire size is 185, they gave me 195…so of course I was freaking out a little so I asked another Mechanic guy I’m talking to if it was okay. He told me because it’s only 10 over it more than likely wasn’t doing any damage. As long as both tires are on the front. Most small sports cars have different size tires on the front and back anyways so it was fine. Note to self, stay away from Mr. Lube and Walmart for anything….and just stop being a lazy ass and travel half way across the city to bring my car in. The Mechanic guy told me he’d teach me how to change my own oil too. I’m loving this new size of me and learning about my car and the small things I can do myself to save me money in the long run!
So I’m pregnant…not really but it’s exactly 8-9 months before I get a dog and so it’s the start of my pregnancy stage..LOL I started freaking out a little (clearly I should never get pregnant if I’m going through a freak out over a dog haha) what if I make a horrible dog owner? What if I spend ALL this money towards this dog, can’t train her properly and she had behavior issues and then I have to give her away?! I just say that because my friend bought a great Dane and ended up having to give him up because she couldn’t train him properly and he had so many issues to begin with not to mention her issues…( I consider myself a very stable mental person…)what if that happens to me?! Of course I’m mentally preparing myself for this but who really is ever mentally prepared once they get it? Generally I think I’ll be okay, but now I’m second guessing buying a pure breed Vs. Shelter dog…it’s like do you choose to have your own children or adopt? Ah….I think it’s just almost TOM time so it’s my freak out time so I’m over analyzing everything…Just breath and reboot…
So I wrote out my daily schedule for after work since clearly I NEED to get my ass in gear and get back to the gym…(or start going) Today I will FORCE myself to do it. If I’m tired after work I will have a coffee and go. I’m fine being 158, but really I need to get my hair done and can’t until I get down to 150…so I need to do this, not only so I can do something about this scraggly disastrous hair but because it’s something I want to do but for some reason I’m sabotaging myself. I know I CAN do it, but I’m making excuses not to do it. Don’t get me wrong I don’t look fat at all, I have a small little belly and most of the time I’m okay naked…but you know…it’s not ALL the time. So since it’s a NEW month and I’m charged and refreshed from this LONG weekend of rest I should be able to do this! I WILL do this. I WILL force myself to do this. I WILL stop making excuses and I WILL lose this cute little pregger’s belly! Haha
Alright Bloggers HAPPY TUESDAY and to myself I CAN DO THIS I WILL DO THIS…
P.S If I honestly had the proportioned curves like Marilyn Monroe did, I wonder if I would love and accept myself like that or if I would still be just as judgmental as I am now?

Monday, July 2, 2012

Friday, June 29, 2012


Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get…
Is that only when you close your eyes? Because I’m pretty sure all box chocolates have labels or at least a thing inside that tells you the kind of chocolate that’s in there…
That’s all.
Happy Friday.

Thursday, June 28, 2012


My heart goes out to the two people who lost their lives in this tragic accident. I was really hoping for a miracle for at least one of you to come out alive…
I went for a hike last night and got some wicked pictures. (Coming soon to dysfunctionalbarbies photography. For those who want to like my page and check it out here ya go. It lasted about two hours because we were stopping getting pictures etc. Tonight I’m going to Hot Yoga with my friend since she has once a month guest pass. I put my scale up 10 pounds (don’t worry R-Team, I’ll put it down to normal for the weigh in.) but I did it for a mind fuck, because when I was in the 160’s all I wanted to do was be in the 150’s and I felt fat and blah. Well given if I see the scale at 168 or whatever I’ll start to see that in the mirror, which will then start to give me that motivation to get my ass in gear and watch my next 10 pounds get off of me. Ah the wonderful tricks you can doing with your mind…;)
Prize for reaching 150: Get my hair cut and nails done and a cute dress from Blame Betty. (I’m hating my hair right now…so this will be motivation to get those pesky pounds down so I can get it cut…lol)
So the lady never replied back to tell me what I did wrong in the interview to better myself for next time, that’s okay. I don’t plan on re-applying. I have enough time to get home, do a load of laundry. Get some cleaning done then go to Yoga from 6 to 8. I will then come home and go to bed.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Algo Centre Mall roof collapsed

On Saturday June 23rd the Algo Centre Mall in Elliot Ontario roof collapsed leaving one person dead, possibly one alive and 12 unaccountable people. My grandmother was there one hour before it happen. She had to leave to go get her prescription that was changed from the Shoppers to the No fills away from the mall. I’m not one for praying but I truly do hope that some of the people who may be trapped under all that rubble are still alive. We do know for a fact one is dead. According to the news on Monday they heard tapping under some of the rubble before they stopped the rescue mission.  
I’m really hoping for good news to come out of this. I lived in Elliot Lake when I was child, I always visited my grandparents and the home that my grandmothers owns is the only thing that has been stable and stayed in my life for the 27 years. Elliot Lake was home away from home. It’s truly heartbreaking as I read these articles and write this blog, I can feel I’m on the verge of tears. I may not know the victims but I can definitely feel their pain, anxiousness and fear of what more is to come as they continue to search for the remaining persons and finally tear down that wretched mall that should have been destroyed years ago.
I hope everyone has a happy hump day.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Move on over...

Winner is up J
TMI: I can finally go to the washroom! My god, I haven’t been able to go #2 since Friday..would explain my disappointing two pound gain for Sunday’s weigh in. But here I am today system is clearing out…Does anyone else notice if you drink water within your first 15 minutes of waking up it helps with your bowel movements?
I emailed back the recruiter to find out why I didn’t make it past the interview stage. Since the posting is back up on the city website I’m not curious as to what it was, whether it was my actual interview or if it was because I didn’t have my transcripts from high school. So hopefully she emails me back for some positive feedback so I know for next time. Not that I’m going to reapply for the position. I don’t feel like disclosing my past…
I will though start applying to British Columbia jobs and more jobs within my city because in the end I ultimately want to be in BC but I can’t make that jump until I’m secure. I also found my perfect match for the dog I want; Shiba Inu now to find a breeder and to put myself on a waiting list.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Shiba Inu


My mind changed after doing some research, and when I looked up a Shiba inu and read all about it I found my perfect match. Given the fact both of our personalities are the same (especially the property laws I had a good laugh at.) It's a cat like dog only thing is I need to make sure the dog in the end knows I'm the Alpha cause if she thinks she is, she's going to rule everything.

The wait is about 8 months which is perfect because I don't want one right away and now I just need to see the two breeders to see which one I want to purchase from. :)

Quick Shiba Facts

  • Shibas are loyal and affectionate but also can be independent and stubborn.
  • Shibas have a beautiful short double haired coat. They shed their undercoat twice a year.
  • Shibas are exceptionally easy to house train. They also are very clean with virtually no doggie odors.
  • Shibas love to run, are energetic on walks, but they can be a very calm housedog.
  • Shibas may or may not come when called off leash. Puppy school is essential for this training.
  • Puppy and obedience school is a must for socializing your Shiba.
  • Shibas are little guard dogs but not attack dogs, they will bark an alarm when someone comes to the house.
  • Shibas are generally quiet and not a yappy breed.
  • Shibas are very hearty and can be great outdoor / indoor dogs.
  • Shibas are great family pets.

Shiba Inu Property Laws

  1. If I like it,it's mine.
  2. If it's in my mouth it's mine.
  3. If I had it a little while ago it's mine.
  4. If I can take it from you it's mine.
  5. If it's mine it must never be yours.
  6. If it just looks like mine,it must never be yours.
  7. If I saw it first,it's mine.
  8. If you are playing with something else and put it down It's mine.
  9. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
  10. If it used to be yours, get over it.
  11. If it's broken it's yours.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Pup researching

Calories: 1915
Exercise: 30 minute walk
Scale in the AM: 156.5

So I’m puppy shopping for next year since I can’t get a dog now, and I want to get one in April when the weather starts to get nicer and train my dog through the spring and summer. (Cause we don’t get much of one out here) and originally it was out of the two types of dogs.  Chihuahua, and a Pomeranian, then I decided to go onto an American Eskimo because they look like Pom’s only white, but now I think the one that’s in the lead is this cutie.
A beagle! They’re super cute, medium size and loyal. But April is a long way so I’m sure I’ll have changed my mind a million times by then. I need to keep my calories low today and tomorrow and get a nice walk/jog in today. I wish I could get my C25K on my IPOD but I can’t which sucks because I don’t want to carry my phone while I jog. I’d only be able to transfer it over if I had an IPOD touch, but I don’t want one of those…
Anyways I have nothing else to say, Happy Friday all!
P.S Teams remember weigh in Sunday! Don’t make me write an blog to remind you :P

Thursday, June 21, 2012

The case for....

Calorie Intake: 1635
Weight: 156.5
Workout: If you count 20 minutes of running around the hospital trying to figure out where to go…

I have re-written this post three times and by the end of the day my Calorie intake will be up to 1745 which means I MUST MUST MUST get the fuck outside for a workout. Maybe I’ll drive around to find a park, I seem to have more motivation to work up a sweat when I’m in a park atmosphere instead of jogging on the side walk. At least in a park when I stop I’ll do push up’s, burpees, jump up and down off benches, jumping jacks then force myself to run again. This is where I miss my old area because there was a park to do that.

I got results back from my interview last week. I did not make it to the next stage. I’m sort of bummed about it but whatever. I probably won’t re-apply when it opens up again because I don’t really feel like disclosing anything about my life and being vulnerable like I had to be in that paper work. So much stress, definitely not worth it, and I know they say third time is a charm but meh on to something else!

A guy at work who is very religious let me borrow a book called The Case for Christ, I think I might give that a read. It’s a Journalist’s personal investigation of the evidence for jesus. I remember I once wanted to explore all the types of religions and learn about them so maybe with this book I’ll start that today.

Anyways happy Thursday all!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Crows are evil fuckers

Yesterday’s Intake: 1459
So there I was walking to the bus stop minding my own business when…A crow flies up to the electrical wires, starts squawking then whips down past my head, flaps his wings at me then flies back up into the tree and screams at me…creepy little fucker! I was paranoid too so I put my hood up and kept walking but also kept looking behind me to make sure it wasn’t going to attack the back of my head.
Today I’m only at work for 5 hours, thanks to my hospital appointment to get a colposcopy done. My abnormal strands in my pap haven’t changed in years, but given the fact I still keep having the same strand coming up and not disappear they want to make sure they’re not missing something. I’m not worried, I just hate getting things shoved up me that aren’t very comfortable…(haha oh that can be taken in so many ways.)
Today I’m going to do C25K. It’s supposed to be a nice day so I’ll go out and get some photography in.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Cranberry-kiss tacos with feta cheese salsa.

Calorie intake: 1670
Exercise: 30 minutes of exercise 26 minutes of walking, 4 minutes of jogging LOL it’s a working progress…
I feel like I really need to step up my game now, competition mode just hit. I know we’ve been going at this for two weeks now but eliminations are coming up, who the hell wants to be eliminated…sure as hell not me just yet especially since I offered the challenge! My three pound loss was good, but I feel my binge later on Sunday may have ruined anything I had worked so hard to lose. Which is fine, water, water, water, strict calorie intake I should be down those three pounds and hopefully another 2 by Sunday?
Last night for dinner I made Cranberry-kiss taco’s with feta salsa (the original name was cherry- kiss but I didn’t have the cherry’s so instead I used some cranberries in the meat.) It was really good.
Makes 12, Calories: 207 per taco

1lb  Ground beef (reg, lean, lamb or pork)
1 cup finely chopped onion
1 tsp Curry powder (I didn’t use it, because I didn’t have any)
½ cup Mango Chuntey (I bought a jar of it)
½ cup Dried tart red cherries (I used  a couple of dried cranberries, cause I wasn’t sure how it was going to taste lol)
1tbsp Lemon juice
¼ tsp salt (didn’t use)
¼ tsp ground pepper

Taco Shells (I used tortilla bread instead)

Recipe feta cheese salsa: ¼ cup of feta cheese (I forget the kind I used but it was already crumpled and had seasoning in it) ¼ cup of finely diced onions, ½ cup of finely diced tomatoes, 1/3 cup of finely diced cucumbers add lemon juice and mix it up.

Directions: In a large Skillet cook the ground beef and onions until meat is cooked and the onions are tender. Drain off fat; Add your curry powder. Cook and stir for 1 minute.
Cut up any large piece of Chuntey (or if you bought the jar, use that) Stir Chuntey, cherries, lemon juice, salt and pepper into the meat mixture. Bring to boil; reduce heat, simmer, cover for 5 minutes.

Spoon meat mixture into taco shell and top it off with Feta cheese salsa.

While I was at work I picked out two recipes I wanted to cook for dinner sometime this week and went shopping for them, actually I only ended up buying the stuff for Taco’s last night lol. I have food throughout my house and tonight I’m going to go through to see what I have and then plan my meals with the food I already have. I have 30 dollars for groceries next week so I’m trying not to spend it this week.
I plan on getting at least 3 30 minute workouts in a week. Monday, Wednesday and Friday once I get used to that I’ll bump it up. I have a habit of doing 5-6 and within 3 weeks of it, I stop working out and go into lazy mode so I’m going to just work on three days a week for now.
Biggest Loser teams, your inputs are needed if you wish to have a say on how eliminations will work, click the following link to see:
Happy rainy Tuesday….