Wednesday, March 28, 2012

On the road to recovery!

This is what this week’s schedule has been like.
4:50am wake up and get ready for work.
5:30am run to the bus stop
6 -2pm work.
2:45pm home (this is my regular life Monday to Friday)
2:50pm workout
3:30 shower, eat get ready for work.
4:30 off to job number 2
8:15 – 8:30 pm home.
9 – 10pm (fall asleep)

I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty firkin tired this week, but yesterday I finally did it! I finally pushed myself with Insanity! I was right, I needed music (had to play korn or any angry music.) and I started off with the suicide drills which is the beginning of the workout after the 9 minute boring warm up, then the 3 minute stretch. Once I hit the end of the workout and it went to cool down, I went back up and began the 9 minute warm up and even pushed myself through it! (which I haven’t done at ALL since starting this “insane” journey last week!) Once that was down did the 5 minute cool down and I was finished. At the same time I had stuffed chicken cooking in the over so by the time my workout was down so was my chicken. I showered, made up my salad and enjoyed my dinner. I made an extra salad for work just in case I got hungry so I wouldn’t come home and binge eat around 8:30, 9:00 at night! I didn’t eat the salad, well I ate two bites when I got home, put in it the fridge for lunch today and set everything up for the morning before I went to work.
I decided I was going to try something new. Acupuncture apparently it can help when your moods are unstable, help with PMS, headaches and other stuff! So I booked an appointment with the acupuncturist that I work with for next Friday! I’m a little exciting, I’m also going to call today to book a therapy appoint. I was sitting on the bus yesterday being cynical and pissed off and I began wondering why this all started. Why have I always thought the world was shit, and have no faith in people…why must I always think everyone is bad and dislike them before I get to know them? Well I guess being bullied until I hit the age of 13 may have a reason for that…and the fact that people tend to dislike me for no reason (or the reason being because I stand up for myself, am a straight shooter and I don’t need to kiss everyone’s ass for people to like and respect me…they just do) so I guess that’s a reason to hate me. But overall as much as I try to be happy, I’m really miserable deep down inside and some days I’m okay and can mask it well. But other’s I’m just…I don’t know, maybe it’s about time I admit I’m not okay? Though it’s okay to be independent, and a loner at times, that it’s not okay to be anti social…that yes I need people sometimes, that it’s okay to ask for help when I need it and that sure there are plenty of shitty people in this world, but there are people out there who are generally good.
I guess the first step I’ve notice is I am on the road to recovery, I finally found a place to call home. A city I don’t feel like running away from. I am finally able to stand still…now let’s get to working on the rest!
Happy Wednesday bloggers!

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