Saturday, April 13, 2013

First photoshoot

Tomorrow will be my first ever photo-shoot  I'll first start of behind the scene's of "Lil Missy". Who is a really good friend of mine, who loves to rap and make her own music. Mostly it'll be me getting familiar with Manual mode and playing around with my camera. The real photo shoots are gonna be may 1st and 2nd for the website I'm making. 

Myself and a friend are going into business together. She getting her makeup certificate and in November her hair styling one. I'm going to start branching out into more photography. It's something I've always wanted to do, but I think I need help with the push. I need to be positive and realize that there will be some failures and that this isn't going to be easy; nor will money be coming in right away. 

The first year I'll be putting in more money towards the business than making any.

Friday, April 12, 2013


It's been a busy week, Saturday I picked out my little angel. (see post below). I've jogged for 20 minutes straight both Tuesday and Wednesday (yay progress.) It kind of helped given the mood I've been in. 

I got rid of two very toxic people that I've kept in my life for so long, so now yet again I'm going through the hurt and sadness from it. It's for good this time because a great friend told me. In order for me to be able to move on and allow myself to love again, I need to remove the toxic dysfunctional people in my life. I need to realize that once in a while it's okay to be sad, that it's okay to miss something that was once there and to think about it. It's not going to be easy, but the hardest part is forgiving myself. 5 years wasted on one of my greatest loves; thus far yet biggest disappointment in my life, as well as three years with a no body. 

One was a pathological lair, who created a double life (fantasy) because he couldn't cope with his pathetic real life. The other one admitted to me that he couldn't handle me and can only tolerate me in small dosages. 

On positive notes:

~This week I've removed Toxic people.
~I will have worked out 6 times this week. Tues, Wed 20 minute jogs. Thursday, Friday and Saturday with my trainer and Sunday bikham yoga. 

By the end of this month, I'd like to be at 160. 

Until next time.



Thursday, April 4, 2013


It's going to officially have to become a "force" to workout and lose weight.

Life is different now because I now have a roommate which I think is part of the reason as to why this time around it's hard. She wants to lose weight as do I, only thing is she won't workout with me, go jog with me or anything. I couldn't figure out the reason as to why? 

I mention crossfit to her once, she said "why would I do that?" Others mention it, she says she "wants to try that!". I mention starting C25k back in December  she said "No because theirs snow on the ground." but now she's attempting to do it with someone else. She mentioned she needed a trainer like mine, I invited her for a session and she had an excuse. It's probably something to do with me? 

The kitchen seems to always be a mess, the counters are never cleaned so I don't want to cook. So I guess I'm going to have to write a list of things I need to do for a "better" living situation for myself. I don't plan on moving out anytime soon. We are friends, mostly get a long and we both have a good deal on the house. It's just certain things I need to get passed mentally in order to accomplish my goals. 

1 - Use only my dishes (we both have our dishes in the cupboard) but if I only use mine, it'll help me distinguish between her's and mine mess. 

2- Clean up my mess right away. (If she's left a mess, pile it all on the other side of the counter to keep an area clean. 

3 - Wake up at 5am and go for a jog. (I kind of need to do this anyways for when I get my puppy, she can get her morning exercise before I head off to work for 12 hours.) I only work 2 days shifts, then 2 night shifts (so I'll wake up at 5pm on my nights). 4 days off. 

4- My eating habits need to change drastically. 

5 - I need to clean my room and keep it that way.

6 - I've started a journal for my journey where I can paste pictures and write about my thoughts and progress...

Well I'm off, I'll update again soon.


Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Starting over yet again...

Hello all my follower's, it has been quiet some time since I've written. 

I'm back up in weight 170 pounds, I hope all of you have been successful or close to being successful on your journey's where I am re-starting over yet again...I'm tired of it and yet I'm doing it again.

In Jan I decided I couldn't do this on my own anymore, so I got a personal trainer (who is reasonably cheap, creditable and works with us.) We began working out, then decided to do Hapkido. I told him that my goal date is May 23rd and I want to be 140 pounds... This is when I thought I was still 160. I was wrong, stepping on the scale the other day I'm at 169! I haven't lost anything in the last three months since starting this training. 

I can't really blame anyone but myself since I work shift work my eating habits have been disgusting! I do have to admit I've been feeling pretty light the last two days and my work pants which seemed to be getting tighter each day, have been feeling pretty loose the last two!

On none weight loss events.

I'm finally getting a puppy! I get to pick her out on April 6th! After the previous litters only having males, and I preferred a female. I finally get one! I'll be getting her in May close to my birthday which I'm totally stoked about!

Hope everyone is doing good! I'll try to post every so often to keep ya'll up to date!